Have you ever gone through a phase where you just don't feel like yourself? Like your just going through the motions each day? Well, that's exactly how I have felt lately. I have just felt like....blah! And the sad thing about it is that I know why and haven't done anything to change it.
A couple weeks ago while I was camping with my boyfriend and his family for a week (which was amazing!). I realized that I had forgot to bring my Kindle which had all of my books that I was going to read while camping. I was sad to realize my foolish mistake but oh well; there was plenty to do besides reading. I had so much fun but for some reason I just felt weird... About half way through the week I finally realized why I wasn't acting as cheerful as I would have liked. My scriptures were on my Kindle. I never realized how much I rely on scriptures. There had been some unexpected things that had come up recently that I was having a hard time with and I realized that the one thing that I usually rely on making feel better was missing.
I am both embarrassed and ashamed to admit that it has been weeks since I have read my scriptures. No wonder why it is 2:30 in the morning and I can't sleep! I have been up all night trying to figure out ways to make myself want to sleep. I finally spotted my poor scriptures sitting in the corner of my room that were surprisingly not dusty from lack of use. I decided that it is about time that I read them. Wow! I feel 182.75% better than I did before.
I am so amazed how much the Lord can uplift me by reading just a few simple words. I had to just open my scriptures to a random page becasue it has been so long since I last read them that I couldn't even remember where I was reading last. I flipped them open and read some scriptures that I had highlighted: Doctrine and Covenants 1:37 " Search these commandments, for they are true and faithful, and the prophecies and promises which are in them shall be fulfilled....For behold, and lo, the Lord is God, and the Spirit beareth record, and the record is true, and the truth abideth forever anad ever. Amen" Yep, as soon as I read that I started to cry. I know the Lord answered a prayer. I know that He loves me and always watches over and cares for me; even when I don't always have Him in mind. I am so thankful for His love. I'm so thankful for simple things as the scriptures that help uplift me and make me a better person. I'm so grateful that the Lord answer prayers.
I would like to apologize to my family, boyfriend, friends, coworkers, and anyone that I have been around lately. I know that I have probably not been the most fun person to be around. I would also like them to know that I know that I can become a better person by sticking close to the Lord. I want to promise you all that I will never let myself become such a grouch ever again. I'm so thankful for the amazing examples that I have all around me. I guess I realized tonight that life isn't really worth living if I'm not living close to the Lord. I know He loves me. I know that my Savior helps lifts me when I make mistakes and He guides me and because of His exa,ple, I want to be better. I love Him! Such a small thing such s reading a few lines in my scriptures has made such a difference. The church is true. Tis true!
